by Chip Murray
I have been a licensed Registered Representative and Investment Advisor serving the financial protection and wealth management needs of my individual and business clients for the past 18 years now. I have also been a faithfully unabashed member of the Tea Party for the past 4 years.
It has suddenly occurred to me that the majority of my colleagues have virtually no clue as to what is happening in their own industry…let alone the entire country! So I wanted to prepare them in the event we are feeble-minded enough to re-elect Obama, to be able to communicate with their clients using the new investment terminology of Obamaville!
Standard Deviation- The reclassification of Pedophile to “Minor-attracted Person.”
Efficient Frontier- Barack, Michelle & Bo taking separate jets on their many vacations.
Animal Spirits- The “OWS-cations”: Intoxication, Fornication & Defecation.
Asset Allocation- The redistribution of assets across varied needy social classes.
Asset-Protection- A Shotgun.
Mutual Fund- Your money is my money is your money.
Risk On- Leaving a 2008 Obama/Biden bumper sticker on your car.
Risk Off- Covering it with a NOBAMA 2012 sticker!
Dollar Cost Averaging- Buying an ounce of gold every month.
Rate of return- How quickly we can return to the Stone Age.
Short a position- The total # left in the O-Regime after one “calls” on Ann Barnhardt!
Long a position- How far I can throw one when they get to me!
A Put- Timothy Geithner (without the z on the end).
A Call- Yelling “Where did my money go?” at your broker over the phone.
A Covered Call- Same thing…with your hand over the phone!
Futures- What we used to have.
SEC- Sleeping Elite Cronies.
FINRA- Hear no evil! See no evil! Speak no evil!
Time Horizon- A mushroom cloud!
Another investment professional goes Galt!